


your hands unzip me one breath at a time

by sepulcher



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Enthusiastic Consent, Fluff and Humor, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 15:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30023730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepulcher/pseuds/sepulcher
Summary: The noise Kojiro made then was, frankly, indescribable. Something choked, yet not unlike the sound of software crashing, or even unlike the sound that he made when he had an especially bad fall, mixed with a yelp. It would have been hilarious, in any other circumstance.
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 8
Kudos: 224





	your hands unzip me one breath at a time

**Author's Note:**

> this is... mostly smut. there's some plot, sure, but it's mostly smut with plot sprinkled in between, and as always these two are just idiots in love. also two bastards who are in love with each other. not beta'd per usual, don't say i didn't warn you.

“Kaoru, I have those wheels that you wanted to test out,” Kojiro’s voice seemed to slice through his awareness with a proximity and an abruptness that made him wonder, dizzily, why he hadn’t heard his front door open and, most of all, why Carla hadn’t warned him.

His breath caught on a gasp. Goddamnit. The blanket? The pillow? No time, no time, “Wait, you idiot, stay —— ”  _ in the living room _ never got the chance to join the rest of that sentence, because of course Kojiro appeared in the door of his room, filling the space with his stupid bulk.

“I saw them by chance and picked them up since I knew you would be pissed if you missed the chance to…” the noise Kojiro made then was, frankly, indescribable. Something choked, yet not unlike the sound of software crashing, or even unlike the sound that Kojiro made when he had an especially bad fall, mixed with a yelp. It would have been hilarious, in any other circumstance.

And then there was silence.

To say that they had no secrets between each other was pushing it, but had a level of truth by most accounts. Years of friendship during which they had developed a comfortable enough closeness with each other that Kaoru and Kojiro had become, by and large, immune to things that would most often embarrass other people was a natural result of being attached at the hip during their adolescence. That didn’t mean that they had literally no boundaries, though Kaoru supposed that a majority of natural and polite boundaries that he enacted with any of the other people in his life didn’t apply whatsoever to Kojiro.

After all, they had witnessed each other at varying stages of injury, illness, emotional lability, and drunkenness. Kojiro was the person that he had, in the end, experienced much of his life with, both by chance and by (at times regrettable) choice.

Kaoru could admit to himself freely that Kojio was the person who knew him best and had seen him at his worst and everywhere in between. He had droves upon droves of blackmail material, though he highly doubted that Kojiro would ever use it against him because of the common decency that he had, and Kaoru had plenty on Kojiro, in return. That was how friendship, particularly since adolescence, worked.

However, it was one thing for Kojiro to have seen him throw up secondary to illness or inebriation or motion sickness, or even for him to have seen him in varying states of undress over the years because they had a casual sort of familiarity and comfort with reach other and hardly precluded general states of nudity in private, not to mention they had traveled abroad together multiple times for varying vacations. Those were acceptable breaches in boundaries that Kaoru, generally, had with other people, because of the longevity and comfort of their friendship.

It was an entirely, massively, astronomically different thing for the idiot to barge into his room, entirely unannounced, when Kaoru was in the midst of jerking off, one hand around the base of his cock and the other working a toy into himself.

Mortifying wasn’t quite the right word for it immediately, though he was sure that mortification would set in eventually. Instead there was a strange, suspended moment that seemed to take place between breaths after Kojiro opened the door, in the middle of saying something, clearly not taking in what he was seeing for those first few precious seconds, only for his voice to cut off abruptly in the middle of a word as he just… stared.

And stared.

Kaoru, who had been mid-thrust and well on the way to an orgasm, stuttered to a stop not unlike a glitching computer and he had two fleeting thoughts in that moment that crushed against each other oddly. First, it would’ve been hilarious to see Kojiro this dumbfounded under literally any other circumstances, given that it didn’t seem like he knew where to look, gaze darting between Kaoru’s flushed face, his body as a whole, only to zero in on his cock and then the toy that was mostly inside of him, and then back with his own mouth slightly open in the way he got when he was seeing an especially attractive person (Kaoru was, sometimes, included in that). Second was that it was, honestly, impressive that they had never walked in on each other getting off in all of the years of their friendship. Granted, Kaoru had heard Kojiro having sex before, but he tended to steer as clear as he feasibly could to avoid seeing him in the act.

And then there was a third though, half formed and easily the worst of the bunch, was that he, Sakurayashiki Kaoru,  _ liked _ the shocked, appreciative look on Kojiro’s face and, if the way his traitorous cock jerked in his hand was anything to go by, just liked that Kojiro was looking at him. Jerk off.

That, more than anything else, spurred him into grabbing the book he’d left on the bed that he had idly been reading before he had gotten distracted and throwing it as hard as he could at Kojiro’s head. Sitting up to do it meant that it drove the toy further into his body, which. He had not intended to do, and caused his voice to hitch slightly, “Get out, you depraved idiot!”

“Jeez, you raging lunatic!” he definitely wasn’t imagining the strange edge to Kojiro’s voice that sounded, god help them both, turned on. Still, the man dodged the book and ducked out of the doorway, though Kaoru heard him stop just beside the door. The book hit the hallway wall and fell to the floor with a quiet thud.

“I gave you a key for emergency purposes, dumbass,” the fact that he hadn’t softened at all by this point was proof that his body despised him.

“You weren’t answering the door, idiot,” Kojiro shouted far too loudly, given that he was barely out of eyeshot.

“Then I clearly wasn’t in, moron.”

“Your motorcycle was out front, of course you were in!”

He made a wordless, furious noise. “It’s rude to barge into someone’s home, though I wouldn’t expect anything less from a brainless gorilla like you.”

A brief, reverberating laugh. “You clearly aren’t making yourself decent in there, do you need a moment?” Kojiro’s voice sounded sardonic and horribly considering, as if he were legitimately thinking about just sitting in his living room while Kaoru finished himself off. Or, even worse, watching him get himself off.

And Kaoru didn’t mind the idea, either of them.

“Stop thinking about it!” he was saying it to both of them, honestly, though he finally shifted and reached down to pull the toy out, breath catching again.

The silence was piercing for a moment as Kaoru staggered off of the bed and towards his bathroom before Kojiro said, voice low and gentle and genuine, “Do you want me to?”

Kaoru knew perfectly well that if he demanded Kojiro never bring this up again, never even think about it again in the vaguest of ways, that he would comply with his wishes. Kojiro, for all of his flirtations and aggressiveness in regards to people that he was attracted to and oftentimes tried to seduce, was far too good a person to hold onto something like this if it made someone uncomfortable, especially when the person at hand was his closest friend.

He could very well say yes, he wanted Kojiro to stop thinking about it. Kaoru was beyond confident that if he did say that, Kojiro would honor his wishes, but.  _ But. _

“No,” Kaoru said through gritted teeth, feeling his face go from an aroused shade of pink to red. Ah, there was the mortification. “Make yourself useful and prepare tea,” he sounded much calmer than he felt, but he needed to wash up and get himself put back into a semblance of a person that hadn’t just been walked in on by his best friend in the midst of jerking off and liked it, unless he wanted to grab Kojiro by the collar and drag him into his room and demand he fuck him.

Though the idea was. Tempting.

“Or otherwise,” Kaoru said, voice shifting suggestively.

Kojiro’s laugh was a mixture of well hidden nerves and poorly hidden glee, “I could give you a hand?” with a grin clear as day in his voice alone because Kaoru had essentially given him expression permission and, well. It wasn’t like his arousal had abated at all.

Which was precisely how he ended up pulling Kojiro’s hair harder than strictly necessary, head thrown back and gasping as he fucked him hard and slow with his dildo. Kojiro was staring at him intently, lips slightly parted and pupils blown, biting at his jaw occasionally, mouth skimming against his cheekbone and glancing between Kaoru’s face and where his hand was working between his legs. It was gratifying, if frustrating, and Kaoru appreciated the nearly vicious smile that Kojiro gave him when he started to roll his hips in tandem, demanding to be fucked harder, barely sparing a thought to the fact that it felt immensely good.

Kaoru was breathless after he came, his orgasm slow and somehow bone shattering, holding on fast to Kojiro and complaining when he drew the toy out and started to sit up, as if trying to extricate himself from Kaoru’s grasp, never mind the fact that he was obviously hard in his pants. Kaoru kicked his hip and realized belatedly that Kojiro was still fully dressed, which shouldn’t be nearly as arousing as it was, and scowled up at him.

“Well?” Kaoru was still trying to catch his breath, but managed to glare up at him anyways.

“What?” Kojiro said, pulling at Kaoru’s arm hooked around his neck, a grin on his face.

“Are you going to fuck me or not, you imbecile?”

Kaoru could’ve sworn that he had seen computers stutter when trying to process too much information the way that Kojiro’s brain did when he said that, and felt deeply smug despite the fact that Kojiro had him falling apart beneath his hands a literal minute ago.

“You just came,” Kojiro said after a moment, voice sounding slightly higher than usual, and Kaoru wanted to laugh. So he did. “Stop laughing you freak, I’m trying to be considerate!”

“No need,” Kaoru said after a moment, twisting his body so he could get his legs around Kojiro’s hips, drawing him closer, “I can go again.”

“You,” Kojiro’s mind seemed to stutter again, mouth caught around an aborted groan. It was far more attractive than Kojiro had any right to be. “You can…”

Really, it was just practical. Kaoru was already open and relaxed and it was blindingly easy for Kojiro to slide in, even given his size, and fuck him in steady, long strokes that honestly caused his mind to blank out and left Kojiro’s back littered with thin pink welts from where his nails had dragged long, meandering trails that. He complained about hours later, when they had separated with some difficulty and ordered food, because Kaoru had nothing to cook with in his apartment, but Kaoru had heard him gasp, high and undeniably turned on, in response to it.

And when Kaoru lightly dragged a nail over one of the scratches to get Kojiro to shut up, he barely had time to gasp as he was grabbed and pressed back against the couch and arched his back as Kojiro set his teeth into the thrumming pulse in his neck and rolled his hips down in one sinuous motion. It felt more like fighting than anything, but Kaoru’s toes still curled against Kojiro’s calves as he came again, digging his fingers into Kojiro’s lower back.

He wasn’t sure if Kojiro intended for Kaoru to walk in on him jerking off a week later, sprawled in his bed with his feet braced against the mattress as his hips rolled into his grip, but he doubted that Kojiro would’ve done such a thing. It was just, in the moment, preposterous to think that they had both walked in on each other masturbating for the first time in the entirety of their friendship in such a short interval, but he supposed that all of their boundaries may as well be torn apart, at this point.

There wasn’t a book thrown this time, though they stared at each other for a few moments before Kojiro grinned wolfishly and his hand was slick against his cock, lube wet. “Are you just going to watch, four-eyes?”

“Really, you insatiable idiot?” Kaoru said automatically, eyes narrowing judgmentally. Kojiro’s legs shifted, hand visibly tightening… interesting.

And, well. They hadn’t seen much of each other in the past week other than in passing, not because they were avoiding each other but because they were both highly busy with Kaoru having several events in a row and Kojiro having to contend with a higher influx of customers visiting  _ Sialaluce _ due to spring vacation, and perhaps they should talk about this before immediately falling into bed with each other upon being in the same room again, but.

It was startlingly easy to perfunctorily stretch himself and then sit on Kojiro’s cock, so he did, enjoying the way that Kojiro gasped and grabbed onto his hips tightly, and the way that he groaned tightly when Kaoru told him not to thrust or touch him and that they were going to go at his own pace.

Naturally it all fell apart after twenty minutes of torturously fucking himself slowly, since Kojiro only had so much patience and, in the end, held Kaoru fast against his pelvis and lunged forward, causing the world to spin around them as Kaoru was crushed against the mattress, head nearly hanging off of the end of the bed, and could only gasp as he was fucked with a perfect, world shuddering rhythm.

Kojiro didn’t even complain about the scratches on his back, this time, and wore them like medals. Idiot.

It was like a dam broke.

Kaoru wondered, privately, how it could be so good with Kojiro, of all people, but he supposed it was par for the course. Obviously Kojiro had sex with varying women who were apparently satisfied with the pleasure they received from him, and some of them he counted among his friends that he often took to S and had a casual sexual relationship with. He had never really thought about it, though, beyond vaguely wondering and then discarding the thought as quickly as it had arrived because he was Kojiro and Kaoru just hadn’t thought of him in an explicitly sexual connotation before.

Not even the first time Kaoru overheard Kojiro having sex, when they were in Los Angeles and had gotten into a club somehow, despite the fact that they weren’t quite legal drinking age in America.  _ For the experience, when you’re in Rome, right?  _ Kojiro had said, and Kaoru had agreed to a point, and while it was certainly an experience to feel crushed on all sides by bodies in varying states of undress, the pounding music was on the wrong side of too loud and was pushing his headache into migraine territory. That, combined with strobing lights and alcohol consumption, meant that all in all it was exhausting more than anything.

At the time he had been irritable, for the most part, not to mention inebriated, and when he had decided that he was officially too tired to deal with people asking him to dance (though he had humored several good looking men) and had been told a time too many that he had lovely, “delicate” features, Kojiro had summarily disappeared. It wasn’t terribly hard to find him, or rather hear him, tucked in the shadows behind the bar where it was an employees only area, having sex with the bartender.

Kaoru had simply rolled his eyes and waited for him, leaned against the corner of the bar, ambushing him as Kojiro was trailing after the woman, radiating ridiculous smugness and looking appropriately tousled, given that he had just been having sex.

Not even then had he really thought about Kojiro sexually, even with the acute awareness that he was having sex. Nor had he in Paris, or on any of their other trips or any of the other few times that he had overheard Kojiro having sex, which weren’t endless in number but were certainly higher than he would like in the grand scheme of things. Then again, Kojiro liked sex, therefore he had it frequently, and Kaoru was simply unlucky enough to have to deal with it due to proximity.

Or, well. Now that he was subject to Kojiro’s libido —— god.

Objectively, Kojiro was attractive. Where he landed on the attractiveness scale varied on whether you were drawn to muscular men in general, but he had a handsome face and a charming, boyish smile that lit up his features and threatened to split his face in two when he was especially happy. Kaoru was perfectly aware of Kojiro’s objective attractiveness and he had, admittedly, appreciated that over the years, in a subconscious way that he oftentimes ignored because Kojiro was his closest friend, never mind that he had all physical traits that Kaoru liked in men, himself.

He supposed that he had thought of Kojiro as being loosely off limits for varying reasons, most of which coming down to the fact that they had been friends for a long period of time and the depths to which they knew each other were, occasionally, embarrassing. Fantasizing about him never occurred to him before, the way he had never thought about the concept of having sex with Kojiro. Not because it was weird, exactly, but because it simply never occurred to him, and Kaoru never quite fantasized about anyone concrete when he was getting off alone, simply an amorphous figure. Why would he have filled that in with Kojiro, of all people?

Now that he had started noticing every horribly attractive thing about Kojiro with a sharply increased awareness, it was nearly impossible to stop noticing everything. A sentiment that was, apparently, shared in reverse.

It was absurd.

Kaoru had never really focused on the curve of Kojiro’s neck before, and how if he looked closely he could see his muscles shifting just beneath his skin in the golden sunset which slanted across his warm toned skin in a way that would make any artist ache, and he realized, with startling abruptness and clarity, that he wanted to set his teeth into Kojiro’s neck. Not only that, but he  _ wanted, _ sharply, like a knife to the gut.

All of this occurred to him within moments of walking into Kojiro’s apartment. In the middle of saying something.

And then Kojiro’s gaze caught his from where he had been obviously staring at the dip of Kaoru’s neck and Kaoru only had a moment to wonder about the ridiculousness of this situation before he was putting most of his focus towards bending Kojiro over his kitchen counters. Of course he found himself muttering about why the hell Kojiro kept lube in the living room and rolling his eyes when Kojiro remarked that it certainly was convenient, wasn’t it, sounding far too amused for a man with Kaoru’s fingers in him, and then he was fucking him hard and fast while Kojiro gripped onto the far end of the counters and, well.

Kaoru hated the term mind blowing, but if the shoe fit.

“I prefer this way of saying hey,” Kojiro sounded satisfactorily out of breath from where he was sitting on the kitchen floor, legs thrown over Kaoru’s.

“Of course you do, you deviant. And I said hello,” Kaoru stretched his legs, feeling a faint cramp in his hip, of all places. He wasn’t even old. “Or did you not hear me?”

“Sure I did, but then you were fucking my brains out over my kitchen counter,” Kojiro looked like he was about to laugh and Kaoru kicked him for his troubles.

“This was unsanitary,” Kaoru said, perfectly aware that he was the one who had backed Kojiro against them and turned him around.

“Says the guy who demanded it.”

“Shut up, idiot, if you hadn’t kept lube in the living room I would’ve dragged you to the bedroom.”

“No you wouldn’t have,” Kojiro looked thoroughly smug and well fucked and that, too, was far more attractive then he had any right to look, and Kaoru wanted to drag him in by his neck and kiss him breathless, so he did.

And they had sex again, this time in the living room, because Kojiro made a passive comment about sucking Kaoru off and had noticed the way he reacted and got to work immediately. And again, in the bath of all places, because it was easy enough to slide into Kojiro and fuck him with short, slow rolls of his hips while Kojiro straddled him, head thrown back prettily, knees slipping dangerously. By the time they reached Kojiro’s bedroom, they just fell asleep half under the covers and Kaoru was dimly thankful that they had taken a bath at all.

Given that Kojiro was an admittedly major of his sex life, it was a matter of time before he found Kaoru’s collection of sex toys. Though, really, collection was pushing it. They all fit in his bedside table, after all, and he thought that he had a perfectly reasonable number of things to work with whenever the mood struck him, even if he was reaching for them overall less now that he was having sex regularly. With Kojiro.

“How many do you have?” Kojiro said with raised eyebrows as he picked up one of Kaoru’s larger dildos, and it really was a mistake to tell him where the extra lube was an hour ago, but they had been in the middle of something and Kaoru hadn’t really thought about it or the stutter in Kojiro’s breathing once he opened the drawer.

“Enough to suit my needs, put that down, idiot,” Kaoru punched Kojiro’s shoulder, irritated, and made an annoyed noise when Kojiro laughed and put it back in the drawer, only to grab another. “This isn’t show and tell!”

“Maybe I should expand my collection,” Kojiro said grinning broadly as he wrapped his hand around the girth of Kaoru’s largest toy, looking at him delightedly. “Should I be jealous or concerned that I’m not big enough for you?”

“Shut up,” Kaoru said primly, as he kicked Kojiro solidly in the side. Telling Kojiro that he was plenty large enough, to the point that occasionally when they didn’t put enough time into preparation Kaoru felt it for days after, would be an immense mistake on his part. Kojiro would never shut up about it. And he probably already knew. “I rarely use that one.”

Like watching something in slow motion, Kojiro’s expression started to bleed into contemplation with that stupid grin on his face, and Kaoru could see the moment that he started to… fantasize. Or imagine it. Or whatever you wanted to call it —— Kojiro licked his lips absently, glancing down at the toy in his hand and then at Kaoru and, despite himself, he felt a jolt of arousal like lightning striking in his chest.

He really did rarely use it, only when the mood struck him, which was precisely why he found himself holding onto his headboard with a bone crushing grip and breathing unsteadily as Kojiro worked it into him with slow, steady strokes, opening him up around it and whispering praise against his back as Kaoru trembled, feeling utterly split open even before Kojiro started fucking him with it.

And he could complain when, later, he found himself sitting on the damn thing on the floor, absently rolling his hips and shivery with overstimulation while he took Kojiro into his mouth with punishing intensity, glancing up to see Kojiro watching him watch him with wide nearly reverent eyes, as though Kaoru were the greatest thing he had ever seen, but.

He found that he didn’t want to complain at all.

(Kaoru did complain the next morning when he was extremely sore and found that he could only really walk slightly bow legged, but Kojiro laughed and boxed him against the kitchen counter, turned him around, and fell to his knees to drag his tongue over Kaoru’s aching, extremely sensitive entrance steadily and with light, lingering strokes, thumbing the head of his cock between his legs, until Kaoru came.

“That didn’t help with the soreness, you idiot,” Kaoru said against the counter, after, wondering vaguely why they always seemed to have sex in kitchens, before he turned as Kojiro straightened up and started perfunctorily jerking him off. Fair was fair.

“I just wanted to,” Kojiro said, leaning down to kiss him and sighing when Kaoru shoved his hand against his forehead. “You like kissing me after I swallow but not this?”

“Those are two separate things, dumbass.”

“You’re so precious,” Kojiro said mockingly.

“I could leave you to finish yourself off,” he said conversationally as he rubbed his palm over the wet head of Kojiro’s cock just the way that he liked it.

Kojiro groaned low in his chest and thrust into his grip, hands grabbing onto the kitchen counter on either side of Kaoru, “Don’t you dare.”

“Say please, Kojiro.”

“Kaoru.”

He slowed down, “Yes?”

A hitch in his breath and Kojiro pressed his mouth against his jaw, which Kaoru allowed, thrusting steadily against Kaoru’s grip still. “Please.”

“Hmm… you can do better than that.”

A quiet whine. “Fuck, Kaoru,  _ please _ .”)

“I was working,” Kaoru managed to sound affronted. Which, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t be all that impressive given that he was by and large exasperated by Kojiro’s general presence, but considering that Kojiro was stretching him leisurely after having visited him just before lunchtime to ask if he wanted to go get something to eat around the corner, it was somewhat more impressive.

There was no intention of having sex with Kojiro standing in the open door to his office and Kaoru had been about to say that he needed a few more minutes to finish work and then they could go eat lunch. Then he had seen the way that Kojiro’s gaze lingered at the wider then usual neckline of his kimono, eyes straying to the hint of collarbone, and ridiculous as it was, his gaze felt weighty and electric and  _ want _ felt like a physical tertiary presence in the office.

Which was how he had ended up sprawled on his side, kimono pushed up over his hips with Kojiro leaning over him, working his fingers into him with unerring accuracy that made Kaoru want to kick him in the head. He settled for holding onto Kojiro’s hair at the nape of his neck too tightly.

“You could keep working,” Kojiro said with a twist of his fingers, a smirk pulling at his mouth crookedly, “you were always good at multitasking, Kaoru.”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Kaoru pulled his hair and felt thoroughly satisfied at the way that Kojiro’s eyes briefly fluttered and he swung his knee onto Kojiro’s ridiculously broad shoulder as he pulled his fingers out, smearing lube against his skin. Rude. He’d have to yell at Kojiro for that later. “We’re not going to have enough time to eat lunch,” it was less of a complaint than a general observation, and one that didn’t seem at all important with Kojiro pushing into him, anyways.

“There’s the convenience store,” Kojiro said, readjusting Kaoru’s leg and then sliding all the way forward, leaning forward so that he was hovering and Kaoru’s leg was practically against his chest and, oh. “I didn’t know you were so flexible,” his voice had dropped slightly, sounding reedy the way he did when he was about to fuck Kaoru within an inch of his life.

Strange, how Kaoru was becoming more accustomed to hearing that precise, exact tone. Not to mention the different ways that Kojiro moaned (more quietly when he was fucking Kaoru, louder and chatty when he was being fucked) and the way that he sounded when he was about to come (breath stuttering, voice breaking) and the way he talked when he was being a shithead when they were around people, trying to get Kaoru to slip up.

“Shows what you know, gorilla,” Kaoru managed, pulling Kojiro’s hair sharply again. “Get to work, we don’t have all day.”

So he did.

It wasn’t like they couldn’t keep their hands off each other entirely. When they met in public they certainly didn’t tear each other’s clothes off, though Kaoru was fairly certain that the only reason why they didn’t was because it was literally illegal. He still  _ wanted _ Kojiro every time he saw him with a ferocity that had stopped surprising him after the first few times, though he still wondered over it every time that he stared appreciatively in a way that he hadn’t, really, done over the years at Kojiro’s muscles and the expanse of his chest and the strength in his legs.

Maybe absurd didn’t cover it, after all.

The entire situation would probably grate on him more if he didn’t know that Kojiro was similarly affected. He didn’t need true verbal confirmation to know, he only needed the way that Kojiro looked at him when he was slightly mussed from a long day at work with his hair coming undone from whatever tie that he had placed it in, or the way that Kojiro was even slightly distracted when his kimono wasn’t done up perfectly, or bear witness to the dark, heavy look that Kojiro gave him after a particularly good race at S. It would figure that he would get turned on by adrenaline and competency, though it wasn’t like Kaoru had any right to judge, since he was the exact same.

There was something about having the focus of Kojiro’s attentions placed solely on him. It was one part thrilling and another part terrifying, though most of all it was simply gratifying. Kaoru knew that he was objectively attractive the way that Kojiro was, albeit in a different way given their vastly differing body compositions, but it was one thing to have a veritable stranger be attracted to you and an entirely different thing to have your best friend so viscerally and utterly attracted to you that it nearly drove him to distraction. Well, it drove both of them to distraction.

Kaoru detested distractions in the grand scheme of things. He had a busy schedule and had to balance carefully between his professional work and skateboarding and there was little time left between those two things, and his overall lack of time had ruined the few relationships he had in the last. The fact that it was even slightly plausible for him to spare time to have sex nearly every time he and Kojiro saw each other was ridiculous.

Or, it would be, if he didn’t see Kojiro essentially as often as he saw his manager, if not more.

Kaoru was aware, in an oblique manner that came with experiencing something firsthand and accepting it, though not necessarily analyzing it deeply or anything of the sort, that he spent a great deal of time with Kojiro. He just hadn’t been fully cognizant of the fact that they saw each other several times per week and dropped by each other’s residences with a high frequency until he started having sex approximately ten times more often than he ever had in his life, because while seeing Kojiro was part of his regular daily routine, fucking him was still novel enough that he subconsciously kept track.

The way that was subconsciously yet acutely aware that he stopped bothering to try sleeping with anyone else, because it seemed to be too much effort when he simply needed to tilt his head, baring the expanse of his neck, and Kojiro would be ready to go.

He should probably analyse both of those things more closely.

“This is ridiculous,” Kaoru said, absently tracing the line of Kojiro’s ear with his thumb. It ended in slight point, something that Kaoru had fixated on for a few days in their adolescence. Should that have been a hint?

Kojiro made a bemused noise which made Kaoru’s breath catch as their gazes met, and he very much wanted to pull Kojiro’s hair sharply for having the gall to give him cheek with his mouth around his cock. It was honestly impressive that Kojiro could manage it, though Kaoru supposed that if anyone could manage to irritate him while sucking his cock, it was definitively Kojiro.

“I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” Kaoru said impatiently, and Kojiro laughed which felt —— strange around his cock in a way that Kaoru couldn’t decide whether or not he liked, and he let Kojiro lean back, watching with some fascination as he licked his lips, tongue rolling in his mouth. Kojiro was enthusiastic about giving head, nearly as enthusiastic about it as he was about fucking Kaoru until he couldn’t think straight, and it intrigued him how intently Kojiro went about it.

“Sorry, I understood that talking meant having a conversation, Kaoru,” Kojiro said with his crooked grin, leaning an elbow against Kaoru’s thigh. Kaoru liked seeing him on his knees between his legs. It was, in the end, one of his favorite places to see Kojiro.

Kaoru clicked his tongue and pulled Kojiro’s hair, rolling his eyes exasperatedly when his laugh interrupted by a familiar catch in his breathing. “I’m talking, you’re giving me a blowjob.”

“Bossy,” Kojiro said with far too much affection and that, too, was something that Kaoru had to think about, never mind the way that Kojiro’s tone made his chest constrict in a way that had nothing to do with the fact that he look Kaoru back into his mouth easily.

“As I was saying,” Kaoru said magnanimously, pulling Kojiro’s hair again when he laughed and watching his face closely, enjoying the view as Kojiro grabbed his knees and put them over his shoulders, “this is ridiculous. We can’t keep having sex every time we see each other,” his voice wavered as Kojiro swallowed around him, glancing up at him with an arched brow as his lips met his pelvis. God. “I came over tonight for a reason,” his breath shuddered as his rolled his hips forwards and, alright, his plan of talking to distract himself from coming wasn’t working. But he kept going anyways. “Not to have sex with you again ——  _ Kojiro _ ,” his voice broke over a moan as Kojro’s hands pulled at his thighs, dragging him closer to the edge of the bed until it felt like he was about to fall off. Slick fingers pressed into him and he dimly wondered where the hell Kojiro had gotten lube, unless he was stashing it under his bed. Though Kaoru wouldn’t put that beyond him at all.

After that it was harder to think about much, honestly.

“Is there a problem with us having sex every time we see each other?” Kojiro said much later when they were lying on his rumpled, sweaty sheets and they were both catching their breath after a far more athletic round of sex than either of them had been planning for. Kaoru was lying with his head pillowed on Kojiro’s chest, a hand lying absently on his abdomen, wondering dazedly about how he was getting more flexible the more that they fucked each other.

It took Kaoru a few moments wherein he stared at his hand and the steady rise and fall of Kojiro’s stomach as he breathed. It was comforting, somehow. “It’s distracting.”

“Sex is distracting, it’s sex,” there was amusement in Kojiro’s voice, his fingers combing gently through Kaoru’s hair in a soothing motion all the way from his scalp to the ends. It hadn’t escaped his notice that for all that Kaoru pulled Kojiro’s hair, much to Kojiro’s pleasure, his own hair was never pulled, even as Kojiro left bruises on his hips from how hard he held him.

There were some bruises blooming now, in fact. And Kaoru supposed that Kojiro had always liked his hair a great deal, thinking of it as beautiful when they were younger.

“All we do now is have sex with each other,” Kaoru said, and it was the objective truth of the matter. “You’re insatiable, all I need to do is bare a shoulder to you and you’re on me in seconds.”

“All I need to do is breathe and your all over me,” Kojiro fired back, which was also a sadly objective truth. Kaoru experienced his attraction to Kojiro viscerally in a way that he wondered if he would if he had truly acknowledged Kojiro as sexually attractive to him years ago, rather than apparently, and quite accidentally, repressing it until evident mutual sexual tension boiled over and left him craving more, constantly. It was laughable, in some ways, and mostly irritating in others.

“Don’t flatter yourself, you ape,” Kaoru jabbed his fingers against Kojiro’s side, and felt him jerk beneath him, though he kept his head firmly on Kojiro’s chest, regardless. Aggressive cuddling.

“You’re such a little asshole,” Kojiro said, grabbing Kaoru’s face in one of his massive hands and squeezing. It didn’t hurt, and Kojiro would never dream of hurting him, but he jostled his head slightly, and Kaoru batted at his hand, twisting in his grip and ending up entirely on top of him, their legs tangled as they briefly wrestled with each other. Which, naturally, ended with them shifting their hips together and gasping and getting, summarily, distracted.

Kaoru ended up draped entirely over Kojiro’s body, head on his shoulder. His bones felt heavy with a satisfied exhaustion.

“Does it bother you that we have sex every time we see each other?” Kojiro said after they spent a great deal of time in a mutual, comfortable silence, voice quiet. He sounded wondering and worried, and when Kaoru shifted to look up at him properly he found Kojiro already looking at him, a strange and gentle look on his face and a slight furrow to his brows.

Did it bother Kaoru that they were constantly fucking and distracted by each other? In a way, yes. While it hadn’t been difficult or even awkward for them to fall into bed with each other, despite the stilted beginning of it all (there was no graceful or easy way to walk in on someone getting themself off suddenly, quite frankly), it had changed the nature of their friendship in the way that sex did. Yes, it was enjoyable, and Kaoru could admit to himself that it was easily the best sex he’d ever had, though he would never tell Kojiro that since his ego would be intolerable thereafter, but he found himself wondering more and more if it weren’t changing more than simply what they did when they were together.

It wasn’t simply that Kojiro was attractive and Kaoru found himself appreciating his musculature and strength, those were simple, straightforward, physical things. Neither was it that Kaoru found himself wanting to be around Kojiro —— they were best friends, as juvenile as the term felt at this age, and Kaoru had always been more comfortable around anyone else, which was why he took Kojiro on work trips and why Kojiro took him on trips in return. Instead it was that Kaoru found himself wanting to kiss Kojiro constantly, whenever they saw each other, gaze fixated on his mouth. Wanting to sleep beside him every night and wake up next to him every morning in a way that made his throat ache, something referred from his chest if not his heart, wanting to truly look at the way that Kojiro looked at him sometimes when he was fucking him slowly, expression vulnerable and eyes too wide, the way that he looked at him at times even when they weren’t having sex.

Kaoru’s heart felt heavy with love.

“No,” he said, feeling Kojiro twist a lock of his hair around his finger. “But we could stand to do things other than have sex, you insatiable gorilla. Do you treat all of your bed partners like this?”

That started a laugh out of Kojiro’s face, breaking the cloud of concern that had settled over him, and he squeezed Kaoru against him. “Not recently, no,” he said lightheartedly, and Kaoru felt briefly overwhelmed and solved it by kissing him.

They did watch a movie together at Kaoru’s apartment the next time they saw each other, but it also ended with Kaoru fucking Kojiro over the back of the couch, pulling his head back and up by his hair punishingly and telling him to pay attention to the movie, because one of them might as well. The effect of it was delightful, since Kaoru got to watch Kojiro fall apart beneath him, hands scrabbling back for Kaoru until he finally pulled Kojiro’s back to his chest, arm hooked in front of his throat and holding him close, biting his jaw and he shifted his hips accordingly and fucked up into him with short, hard thrusts to compensate for their difference in height.

Despite his best efforts, Kaoru came first and, shivery and overwhelmed, dragged Kojiro around to the front of the couch and shoved him down. It was nice that he looked fucked boneless and on the verge of coming, but it was even better to fall to his knees and take him into his mouth with an intensity that likely road the line between pleasure and pain, feeling Kojiro’s hand clench in his hair as he gasped brokenly, legs tensing and jerking helplessly as he came within half a minute.

It would’ve been polite to let off. Very polite indeed, given overstimulation wasn’t for everyone. Kaoru kept going, however, glancing up at Kojiro as he gasped and held tight to Kaoru’s head, not pushing him off but not pushing him further, either.

“You call me insatiable,” Kojiro managed as he started to roll his hips against Kaoru’s mouth, watching him with heavily lidded eyes and a sweet smile on his face. “But I’ve got nothing on you, Kaoru,” the way that he said his name was adoring, honey sweet. It made Kaoru flush ridiculously beyond the exertional tinge of pink he got when they had sex, and he tongued the underside of Kojiro’s cock the way that made him tense up and moan brokenly as punishment.

They hadn’t quite stooped to having sex at S, though it was a near thing several times, and Kojiro clearly wanted to.

Kaoru could see the appeal, but.

“We’re in  _ public _ , you animal,” Kaoru said furiously every time that Kojiro suggested it casually, always when they were watching races and simply standing next to each other, surrounded by people on all sides. Sometimes he stepped on Kojiro’s foot to prove a point, other times he kicked him. Tonight he elbowed him viciously, for the sake of variation.

“You don’t use that argument when we use your office,” Kojiro was laughing at him while rubbing his side, the bastard.

“My office has walls and a door that locks,” Kaoru hissed.

Kojiro simply smiled at him for a few moments with an expression that was far too tender before his mouth widened and he looked dangerously mischievous, “Come here,” he said, grabbing Kaoru’s wrist and dragging him away from the crowd and towards a dark copes of trees.

Kaoru went along because he trusted Kojiro implicity, though he still said, “What did I just tell you, you idiot? We’re not doing this in public.”

“Relax, we won’t do anything but this,” Kojiro said, leaning down and kissing Kaoru through his mask, which. Was thoroughly nonsensical and didn’t make his heart thump strangely at all, because that would be the height of stupidity, even if Kojiro was kissing him with such single minded intent that Kaoru clutched his elbows and wanted, sharply, to pull down his mask. It wasn’t like he never did, at S, but he tended to avoid it where possible (for purely aesthetic reasons, if he were to be honest), and Kojiro knew that perfectly well.

He shivered slightly when Kojiro dragged his tongue against his lower lip, catching on the fabric. “You’re not going to convince me.”

“Not trying to,” Kojiro said against his mouth, smiling that broad, wolfish smile again. “I just wanted to kiss you and I thought you’d kill me if I tried to out there.”

“Not a complete idiot, then,” Kaoru couldn’t help but smile when Kojiro laughed and leaned down to kiss him again, only to pause when they could hear someone calling for Joe, wondering where he had gone. Kojiro looked almost regretful, and Kaoru leaned up and kissed him hard, holding on tightly to his neck before releasing him and slipping past, heart rushing in his ears.

Sex had always been enjoyable but a bit of a chore. Kaoru frequently found that he was busy and too stressed out to relax into the demands of sex with nearly all of his prior partners, though they were perfectly fine in bed, but there was always something intrinsic to him that thought that he could get himself off much more efficiently than anyone else and, therefore, he might as well work himself to an orgasm and continue with his day when the mood struck him, regardless of how attracted he was to men and how much he enjoyed the act of sex.

It was… remarkably less of a chore with Kojiro, and he wasn’t sure how much of that was Kojiro and how much if it was having sex with someone who knew him so well. Those were, in essence, the same thing he supposed, because no one knew him as well as Kojiro did, but it was something to ponder. Falling apart beneath Kojiro’s hands was pleasurable in a burning, all-consuming way, and causing him to fall apart beneath his own hands felt like a mastering a skateboarding trick at long last, breathtaking and sharp and leaving him gasping for more.

But it wasn’t just sex.

It was aggravatingly cliché to have even a pseudo romantic crisis involving your best friend after becoming sexually involved with them. Kaoru almost resented it on principle, but he supposed that it was par for the course, considering that he likely had latent feelings for Kojiro for effectively the entirety of their friendship, though he had never fully acknowledged them. It was much the same way that he had never fully acknowledged how attractive Kojiro was to him, specifically, beyond finding him objectively attractive and then dismissing that information as, by and large, unnecessary because everyone and their mother (literally) were aware that a man as broad, muscular, handsome, and charming when he wished to be as Kojiro was attractive.

And it would figure that Kojiro walking in on him getting off would set all this into motion. There had always been something unavoidably ridiculous about their friendship from the moment that they met and how easily they had fallen together, bound together by skateboarding and their mutual ability to irritate each other. There was something familiar in Kojiro that, even as a child, Kaoru had recognized and wanted to be nearby, and against all common sense Kojiro had wished to be near him too, regardless of how prickly he had been, even back then.

They still carried that familiarity with them, even in adulthood. Kojiro knew his rhythms and his tendencies and compensated for them the way that Kaoru compensated for him in return, and taking all into account it was hardly a surprise that they were highly sexually compatible with each other. They had always known each other instinctively, and where they hadn’t known each other they had made efforts to, intertwining their lives together with a deftness that would be strange to any outsider looking in.

With Kojiro, Kaoru felt covetous and wanting. As if he could gorge himself on him forever and never be sated, and has it always been that way? In some way, in some shape, in some form, Kaoru had always been commanding of Kojiro’s attention, wanting it to be on himself. That had been different than this in shape and form, but it was the same at its core.

Arms wrapped around his waist and Kaoru automatically leaned back against Kojiro, tilting his head accordingly as Kojiro pressed his mouth against his temple. Easy affection and intimacy and Kaoru made an irritated noise as Kojiro picked him up briefly, feet leaving the ground by bare inches.

“Put me down, you oaf,” Kaoru said without heat, purposefully stepping on Kojiro’s toes as he was set down and he finished washing the brush that he had been working on.

“Hello to you too, jerk,” Kojiro said with heavy fondness in his voice, dropping a kiss against Kaoru’s shoulder. “Maybe I won’t give you what I’ve got, after all.”

“And what would that be?” Kaoru dried the bristles with care and set it aside, moving on to double check his stores of ink as he heard Kojioro settle in comfortably behind him, could feel the weight of his gaze settled against his shoulders. It was gratifying to have the entirety of Kojiro’s attention on him, the way that it had always been, and Kaoru glanced back at him with a raised brow, catching the trail end of a gentle expression melting into a broad, proud grin.

“You know that artist coming through the city soon? The foreign one,” he had laid both of his arms against the back of the couch that he had settled on, foot propped on his knee, taking up a ridiculous amount of space that made Kaoru raise his eyebrow.

“Of course, I told you about him a week ago.”

“Were you able to get tickets to his exhibition?”

“You know I wasn’t,” Kaoru turned and started putting things away, a frown pulling at his mouth out of disappointment more so than anything. “I had a meeting with a client earlier today and wasn’t able to get one, I texted you about it.”

“Well,” Kojiro said, drawing out the consonant and sounding so thoroughly pleased with himself that Kaoru wanted to instinctively antagonize him about it for no reason other than to rile him up, “don’t be too disappointed, four-eyes, you have some tickets.”

Ink spilled over his hands as he stopped abruptly, blinking and head tilting, uncertain precisely what Kojiro was referring to. After a few moments Kaoru turned slowly two find that there were two colorful slips of paper in his hand that were, undoubtedly, tickets to the art show that Kaoru had talked about over dinner a week ago absently. Tickets that were difficult to come by at best and nearly impossible at worst, even with Kaoru’s connections in the art world, and he had a moment to wonder how the hell Kojiro had managed to get his hands on one, let alone two of them.

And it wasn’t surprising, per say, that Kojiro had gone through all of the effort to get them. Kojiro was a giving, generous person at his core, regardless of how he presented himself and the aggression that he tended towards as a rule of thumb, but Kaoru still felt as though the bottom of his heart had dropped out and he was in freefall, for a moment. Touched and fluttering, breathless by the knowledge and feeling so thoroughly, utterly adoring that he wasn’t sure precisely what to do with himself but stare at Kojiro wide eyed for a few moments.

He felt vulnerable and known and… fucking  _ loved. _

“Those… are difficult to come by,” Kaoru said slowly, turning back around and closing the lid to the ink that he had spilled and setting it on the shelf.

“It definitely wasn’t easy,” there was an undercurrent of laughter in Kojiro’s voice and the grin on his face only widened as Kaoru started to close the distance between them.

“How did an idiot like you manage to get your hands on those?” he slid into Kojiro’s lap, knees on either side of his hips, settling his hands onto Kojiro’s shoulder, ink smearing dark black across his skin.

“I have my secrets,” Kojiro set the tickets carefully between the couch cushions before he pulled him close, glancing at the ink on his shoulder and grinning, “That’ll leave a mark.”

“Don’t ruin it,” Kaoru purposely dragged his fingers along Kojiro’s jaw, laughing at the irritated look he gave him briefly at the bold black against his skin. “I’m thinking about how to… reward you.”

“Oh?” Kojiro raised an eyebrow, grin going hungry.

Kaoru took his chin in hand and kissed him, mouths slotting together as he shifted forward, pressing their bodies together as he tipped Kojiro’s head back and kissed him thoroughly, possessively, searchingly. Kojiro made a quiet, pleased noise, sliding his hand up Kaoru’s back slowly, fingers curling into fabric and pulling urgently. Kaoru set his teeth into Kojiro’s bottom lip and pulled it as he released him form the kiss, enjoying the breathless, pliant look on his face. It was the way that Kojiro looked when Kaoru fucked him with slow, unrelenting thrusts and kept him on the edge, telling him to be patient with a grin on his own face.

And well. That sounded rather nice.

Kojiro agreed.

“What?” Kojiro raised an eyebrow at him, an imitation of Kaoru’s own judgmental stare.

“What?” Kaoru echoed archly, solely to watch Kojiro’s eyebrow twitch. He could feel a grin pulling at his mouth, not only because riling Kojiro up was one of his favorite petulant pastimes but because he felt curiously, impossibly happy, sitting across from him in the middle of a restaurant where they were eating dinner. Absurd, considering they had done this hundreds if not thousands of times, but it was somehow the mere act of seeing Kojiro sitting there, nearly pouting though he would never admit it, that gave Kaoru an odd sense of peace.

“Don’t give me that smug look,” Kojiro pointed his chopsticks at him and Kaoru batted them away, because he could. “Stop trying to irritate me,” Kojiro was grinning, himself, impossibly bright in the low light of the restaurant that they had chosen.

“Perhaps you’re just irritable,” their ankles brushed beneath the table.

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Kojiro tapped his foot against Kaoru’s and took a sip of wine. “You were staring at me, genius, I was just wondering why.”

“You have something on your face,” Kaoru said automatically, propping his chin on his palm and not bothering to hide his amusement as Kojiro wiped a hand across his face.

“Haha,” Kojiro laughed sarcastically, “you’re not half as clever as you think you are.”

“Given that you fell for it, you’re as much of an idiot as I believe you are,” Kaoru shifted his legs quickly, but Kojiro still managed to glance his ankle with a kick.

“Such an asshole,” Kojiro said beneath his breath, but the words weren’t harsh nor angry and he was still smiling as he started eating again, and Kaoru found that he was arrested with watching him again.

Of course he’d been staring, though it had been primarily accidental. Kojiro had met him immediately after going to the gym and showering, and Kaoru could guess that he had worked on his arms today, given that they seemed more defined than usual and Kaoru was contemplating whether or not he could cajole Kojiro into holding him up against the wall tonight with sheer upper body strength alone. It would be laughably easy to convince him, though Kaoru doubted that he needed to do anything but tilt his head towards the wall and Kojiro would catch on immediately.

It was an attractive thought, to say the least, though it hadn’t been the only reason that Kaoru had been staring at him. There were his arms, but there was also the shadows that his eyelashes cast over his cheeks, the faint freckles across his skin, and the reverential way that Kojiro always ate. Kojiro was a poor conversational partner during meals, though he despised being called on it, because he always gave the entirety of his attention and focus to the meal that he was eating. To respect the chef, he had once begrudgingly said, and to really savor the flavors, many of which could be hidden or lost if you weren’t paying attention to every last morsel of food that you consumed.

It was ridiculous. And endearing. Kojiro truly enjoyed his food, ate almost as slowly as Kaoru did (though he ate slowly out of habit, not to savor his food, and he had always eaten at a glacial pace that irritated even Kojiro), and watching him eat was always a spectacle.

Kaoru simply liked looking at him.

After they finished eating, Kaoru offhandedly suggested his idea for the rest of their night and watched delightedly as Kojiro’s pupils dilated and that wolfish grin stretched across his face, accompanied with irritation when Kaoru mused that he wasn’t sure if Kojiro could handle it, really, but they could certainly try and see. It wasn’t surprising when Kojiro crowded against him on their way out, lingering close and blazing hot and Kaoru had to laugh and remark that he was, after all, a gorilla.

And it seemed natural, to tangle their fingers together as they walked down the street, elbows bumping and shoulders brushing. Watching Kojiro’s expression go suddenly soft and surprised at the simple act of holding his hand, an utter departure from the aggressive aura that he had been emanating moments ago, felt like a gift. Placed perfectly into Kaoru’s hand.

(Kojiro did manage to hold him suspended between the wall and the solidity of his body as he fucked him steadily, arms not even shaking once, much to Kaoru’s immense pleasure. It was worth the smugness that Kojiro radiated, after, even as he carried Kaoru to the bed despite being told to put him down, just to prove that he could.

“You’re insufferable,” Kaoru said as he landed on the bed and Kojiro fell onto it beside him.

“Sure I am,” Kojiro said and promptly mashed his face against Kaoru’s shoulder as if in an effort to hide that he was planting a kiss there, grinning widely against his skin.

Ridiculous.)

Kaoru had never been a fan of morning sex, given that he already had enough difficulty falling asleep and frequently woke up too early for the hour that he managed to find sleep at last, but given that he slept more easily around Kojiro (and Kojiro, evidently, highly enjoyed morning sex) he was starting to see the appeal.

Especially with the bulk of Kojiro hovering over him, massive and heavy and utterly solid, his body surrounding him with his forearms braced on either side of his head, fingers playing absently with his hair as he thrust into him, lingering and slow. It was frankly overwhelming, to be so utterly surrounded by him, their faces bare centimeters apart, Kojiro staring into his eyes as if he were trying to remember Kaoru, to commit him in this precise moment to memory for the rest of time. It was a searching expression, intent and arresting, heavy with bare affection that Kaoru couldn’t look away from, and every time his eyes fluttered with pressure Kojiro nipped his lip or bit his chin of all things, as if chiding him for breaking eye contact.

It was slow and languorous and maddening. The sun was rising outside, giving context to how long had passed since Kaoru had awoken to Kojiro plaiting a small braid into his hair and had peered at him sleepily, only to be greeted with a smile which rivaled the sun and a kiss as he blanketed him, and Kaoru was still slightly open from last night so it was easy enough to apply more lube, even if it got all over them and the bed because Kojiro was intent on kissing him and not paying attention to what he was doing, much to Kaoru’s exasperation. It felt like hours had passed but logically he knew that it hadn’t been nearly that long, more along the lines of tens of minutes, but it felt as though time were a nonentity here, with Kojiro hovering over him and pouring the enormity of his attentions into Kaoru.

“Not yet,” Kojiro quickly pushed Kaoru’s hand away when he reached for his cock, and huffed out a quiet laugh at the small, outraged noise that Kaoru made. “You always tell me to be patient, Kaoru.”

“I could shove you over and deal with it myself,” Kaoru said, though he spoke quietly in spite of his faux irritation. It felt like if he spoke too loudly, if he dared to shout, this stasis around them would shatter and they would have to return to the real world far sooner than he would have preferred.

“You could,” Kojiro bumped their noses together, obviously confident that while Kaoru could do that and Kojiro would allow it, he wouldn’t. It was somewhat aggravating that he was entirely right to be confident, but then Kojiro shifted his hips and it was ——

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Kojiro’s neck instead, rolling his hips in tandem with his thrusts until it felt like one long, sinuous motion. They kissed but didn’t, their mouths brushing occasionally, and it seemed as though Kojiro was thoroughly unwilling to break their eye contact, and it should have been unnerving but instead Kaoru simply felt torn open, skin peeled away in a way that was terrifying, yes, but it was only feasible under Kojiro’s hands.

When he came it felt like eons later, on the tail end of Kojiro’s orgasm, during which he had wrapped his hand clumsily around Kaoru’s cock and, really, it only took a handful of disorganized jerks before he was coming, held perfectly on the precipice but curiously not desperate for it. Rather, when he came, it was almost a surprise.

After, Kojiro collapsed on him, taking a few moments to pull out of him and tie off the condom to toss towards the waste basket, but otherwise becoming an actual human blanket.

“You’re heavy, dumbass,” Kaoru said, even as he traced idle designs across Kojiro’s back, as if he had a brush and ink and Kojiro were a canvas.

“Weren’t complaining a few minutes ago, you scrawny nerd,” Kojiro’s face was buried in the pillows and Kaoru’s hair, which Kaoru knew Kojiro liked the smell of, because he had demanded Kaoru bring over his cherry blossom and vanilla scented hair products so they could both use it at Kojiro’s place. Which, he had, and while it was thrilling for Kojiro to smell like him, Kaoru appreciated the fact that Kojiro’s most innate scent, leather and spices and the cologne he had been wearing for years, still lingered just beneath the surface.

“Your entire weight wasn’t on me a few minutes ago, musclehead,” Kaoru idly dragged the arch of his foot along Kojiro’s calf, appreciating the solidity of his muscles.

“Hey,” Kojiro said quietly, nudging the side of Kaoru’s face with his nose, and Kaoru turned to look at him, their noses bumping again as he did. Kojiro looked… impossibly happy, a gentle tenderness alight in him, as if it were illuminating his warm skin like a personal star, and portraits weren’t Kaoru’s preferred method of art (he was terrible with them, in fact) but in that moment he wanted to set it to canvas to keep for the rest of time. Wholly his own.

Kaoru kissed him, hushed in the morning light and adoring as he squeezed their hand between them and pressed his palm against Kojiro’s chest, feeling the steady and heightened beat of his heart. It was reassuring and easy, the rhythm of his pulse and the ebb and flow of their mouths against each other and Kaoru still felt cracked open, as if he were a peach that Kojiro had pried apart at the pit in a perfect bisection, laid open for him to devour but instead he simply looked and appreciated and loved.

And Kaoru had done to same to him. He could feel it, against his hand.

“Do we have enough time to go again?”

“Hmm… yeah.”

They didn’t, not really, but as ever: they made space for each other thoughtlessly, absently, shifting seamlessly between one form and another, and Kaoru clutched Kojiro to his chest and kissed them both breathless.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/widowgast) and [tumblr](http://nydorins.tumblr.com/).


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